So... I had an anxiety attack unlike any I've ever had before. I'm still trying to wind down. My dad was a saint. He said wait right here I know exactly how to help. He said youre having a panic attack. I said I've had those before they never felt like this before. He said they can be different. Just hold on a second. Then he went and got me something to help. And it did, a bit. But my heart is still racing and my chest still hurts. I even took one aspirin to help. So now I'm gonna try and force sleep. Here's hoping.

Sleep study on February 4th. Almost total hysterectomy on the 8th. I'm pretty low mentally because of everything. Especially because my daughter has a birthday the 23rd and ill be too tore up from surgery to do anything and too broke to get her gifts. 2021 is not off to a good start for me y'all.

Finally felt good enough to stream from my pc... Got a MASSIVE RAID... Except it wasnt. It was a bot. I am so embarrassed. I was so silly to think it was real. 😞 i looked so foolish, getting excited about a bot....

Sorry ive been so quiet lately... Im just... I have cancer. Along with another serious and scary diagnosis. And here in a few hours i have a doctor appointment to see about looking to see if i have multiple types of cancer in multiple places. Its just... A lot. I hope you can forgive me.

here goes... hope my 6th month stream goes well...